Dreaming reDESIGNed

Do you remember when you were a child and when you were asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”  Some of us could come up with quite a list, and if you remember, it would come to mind simply. A Nurse!  A fireman!  A doctor! A mommy!  A hair-lady! When Caity was 3, she told me she wanted to do people’s hair and makeup- I taught her how to say esthetician. It was so cute coming out of a 3year old in her newly developing voice and speaking styles. Do you remember putting together projects at school in your future career choice?  I don’t remember myself, but I helped Connor with a Kindergarten project where we put together a self portrait of a police officer, because that is what he wanted to be when he grew up.  It was simple back then.  We could be anything we wanted!  It was easy to dream about the future and the sky was the limit.  Fast forward 20-30 years and we struggle with remembering how to dream.  Life has taken it’s toll and now we have a life full of different responsibilites.  Maybe some of us are just tired. Maybe some of us are at a point in our lives where we wonder what is next. Maybe we followed a dream that didn’t quite turn out how we imagined. Maybe we had a dream once, but it has been forgotten in the corner to gather dust while we tend to the hamster wheel of life. Maybe we have been consumed with the can’ts and no’s and you’re not good enough’s.

For the past 3 to 4 years I have been struggling to dream.  Married to an amazing man, mama to 3 beautiful children, a career as an RN, and a business helping people discover health in their lives- I found myself wondering what my purpose was. That’s crazy you might think- but there was a spark I had let die. My sparkle was beginning to fade. With the pulls of responsibility and the continued energy spent pouring into others- I had somehow stopped filling back up.  I found myself in a dark place with tons of negative self talk happening. I was alone, not really, but I felt that way. I didn’t see myself as a good mom, wife, nurse, health coach, or friend. It was a dark place. I could feel the chains holding me there and I wasn’t sure how I was going to get back up.

Here is where the beauty lies.  When you are in a pitch black room, if you were to light a match- a single tiny match- the light would fill the room. Use that match to light a candle and it doesn’t feel as dark anymore. In this dark time of my life, I was able to still see this tiny light. Somedays I would choose to close my eyes to it, but it still remained. A single star in the night sky.  Even in those dark moments, God has been right there waiting for me to reach out and hold the candle. However, sometimes I am stubborn.. ok most times… and I think I sat down in the candle light for awhile. That’s ok- God is patient.

Recently- God has been quietly talking to me about my dreams. Not just my dreams, but His dreams for me. I have taken the candle and together God and I are breaking chains and lighting up candles around the metaphorical room. What he has been teaching me is enough to talk about over many posts- so I will work on those over time, but I want you to stop and think- have you found yourself in that place where your dreams have gathered dust? Do you have dreams that you might be ready to dust off and breathe new life into again?

What if we decided to put ourselves back in our child’s mind. If the sky was the limit again, what would we do, go, or be? What would our purpose be? What would we want to do? If you allowed yourself to dream again- what would that look like?  Do you remember how to dream? Want to learn how together? We just may light a fire.